Wookin Pah Nub

by Nikki

First there was Flava Flav, then Bret Michaels, then came New York and the Stallionaires…..now we have fucking Ray J. What in the blue hell is wrong with VH1?!?!? Do they need ratings this damn bad that they give anybody with a half-assed notion of “finding love” a show on their station? I mean with such quality programming as Rock of Love Charm School and Tool Academy they really shouldn’t be hurting for viewers that bad to justify this madness. I think what really took the cake (besides it being fucking Ray J) was that nothing about the promo said “Brandy’s brother is looking for love in this crazy world” all it really said was, and I quote from those eloquent gents Ying-Yang Twins and Bubba Sparxx:

BOOTY-BOOTY-BOOTY-BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHEA!!!

Oh you don’t believe me??? Well watch the promo for yourself…ok well I couldn’t find it anywhere on the i-net considering I didn’t really look that hard. I’m sure if you’re watching VH1 you’ll see the promo anyways and it’s a hot-buttered sautéed mess. I really think they should just drop the entire pretense and call these shows what they really are, let’s try a couple of more true to life titles for Ray J’s show.

Ray J’s Fantastic Pussy Adventures

Ray J’s Next Top Sextape Model

Ray J’s Coochie Quest

Ray J Presents Homies Over Hoes

I really wonder who is gonna get a show next, maybe Snow (yeah the dude who sung Informer) might get his own show showing how he is gonna try to make a comeback into the dancehall scene by getting signed by a record label in Jamaica.