Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrne

R.I.P Ricardo Montalban

Wookin Pah Nub




by Nikki

First there was Flava Flav, then Bret Michaels, then came New York and the Stallionaires…..now we have fucking Ray J. What in the blue hell is wrong with VH1?!?!? Do they need ratings this damn bad that they give anybody with a half-assed notion of “finding love” a show on their station? I mean with such quality programming as Rock of Love Charm School and Tool Academy they really shouldn’t be hurting for viewers that bad to justify this madness. I think what really took the cake (besides it being fucking Ray J) was that nothing about the promo said “Brandy’s brother is looking for love in this crazy world” all it really said was, and I quote from those eloquent gents Ying-Yang Twins and Bubba Sparxx:

BOOTY-BOOTY-BOOTY-BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHEA!!!

Oh you don’t believe me??? Well watch the promo for yourself…ok well I couldn’t find it anywhere on the i-net considering I didn’t really look that hard. I’m sure if you’re watching VH1 you’ll see the promo anyways and it’s a hot-buttered sautéed mess. I really think they should just drop the entire pretense and call these shows what they really are, let’s try a couple of more true to life titles for Ray J’s show.

Ray J’s Fantastic Pussy Adventures

Ray J’s Next Top Sextape Model

Ray J’s Coochie Quest

Ray J Presents Homies Over Hoes

I really wonder who is gonna get a show next, maybe Snow (yeah the dude who sung Informer) might get his own show showing how he is gonna try to make a comeback into the dancehall scene by getting signed by a record label in Jamaica.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Whitewashed

by Nikki

Whitewashed as defined by the illustrious minds at urbandictionary.com states that it is:

A derogatory term used to describe a minority who has assimilated with western society. The "White washed" person does not necessarily abandon his/her own culture but rather embrace others beside his/her own. Some people take it as a compliment while others take it as an insult.

I have been called whitewashed many times before, been told that I talk like a white girl, that I’m uppity and I “act white” and even been told I’m not hood enough, like that shit is really supposed to be some point of pride. When I was younger and I hung out in The Jungles in L.A. (that’s the Baldwin Hills-Crenshaw District if you didn’t know) and even in Rialto I was like the pink elephant in the group because I talked proper and I wasn’t raised in the routine of everyday hood life. In fact one night one of my older cousins got into a fight and got cracked in the head with a 2x4 and because I started crying when I saw it I was called a punk. Even more to the point, I went to see Menace II Society when it came out in theaters with my cousin and I started crying when dude got all shot up at the end because I was like damn, dude is trying to do right and he still got caught up in the madness before he could get out. My cousin didn’t want to be seen with me for the next two days because crying about the movie was some “punk shit.” Looking back on it now I just laugh, but back then I was hurt because I didn’t want to be an embarrassment, nor did I want to be an outsider.

If you call me whitewashed now, I would just laugh at you, probably call you a fuckwad if I have some firewater in me and just go about my way. Hmm, fuckwad is kind of a “whitewashed” thing to say isn’t it?? Ha-ha, but what really brought this to mind was the other night I was watching VH1’s 100 Most Metal Songs or something like that and I was watching it, bobbing my head to a good majority of the songs and even singing along and I started thinking about how some of my military friends would look at me sideways when they came in my room and I was blasting Korn or Red Hot Chili Peppers. They would tell me that I didn’t act like the typical black person (in so many words) since I didn’t just listen to rap and R&B all the time. I embrace all that now though, I find that because I’m so open to all things and experiences I get to see a part of the world that many others don’t and it really has shaped my view of things. I mean if I wasn’t for me listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction I wouldn’t have developed this mean ass crush I have on Dave Navarro and my life would be as colorful as it is now, ha-ha. But seriously, Dave Navarro is gorgeous with his lil freaky ass…..

Monday, January 5, 2009

Welcome to 2009

by Rico

Just like all things “we” do it’s a day late and dollar short, sorry about the delay people. One thing that I don’t understand is all these New Year’s slogans. I remember “I’m getting my shit straight for 08” “I’m leaving it all behind in 09” which are all forgotten by February 1st. I’m trying to understand why people fool themselves into thinking just because the New Year rolls around that they will magically get the will power to change themselves when they put off any change from October until December 31st waiting for the stroke of midnight to make an unrealistic change in their life.

First off leaving it all behind in 09 ain’t really possible because those 08 bills are still due in January. Also the it’s 2009 we got a black president what is that really gonna do with you paying your rent car note or whatever it is you have to pay to survive or as big mama used to say “What that got to do with the price of chicken”. Now don’t get me wrong getting Obama in the white house was a wonderful achievement but, I’ve got the strangest feeling it’s gonna be like the first OJ verdict. Everyone had this “We won, We Won!!!” mentality but I’ve been looking in the mail for my OJ prize since 95 and ain’t seen nothing yet. Now personally I hope Obama proves me entirely wrong and gold bars end up in everybody’s mailbox and skittles rain down from the heavens, but the likely hood of that happening is just about as likely as the Bush daughters turning down a drink………..ever.